music is life
every song comes to an end but there's no reason not to enjoy the music
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Katherine.T
entries
Friday, December 30, 2005
What a way to end the year.
He's finally back. 3 years in all. He's aged. But me too.
Today began with apprehension & anticipation. Ended the same way. I'm not siding anyone anymore. Is this just the beginning or the end? For the better or for the worst? But one thing's for sure, things will never be the same again. Ever ever again.
Staying at home has just begun to be a torture. I'll never know what's going to happen. Calls to check if she's coming back. Staying out every night. Drinking, i've heard. This is not going to help. Though sometimes avoidance seems to be the best way to face the situation, it's not going to last long. What should i do? With no one to turn to... I hope i can tell her i'm always on her side but the words doesn't seem to come thru.. She needs all the support i can give her now but i just.. can't.. just can't.
The endless "stories", questions & comments are keeping me spinning. I wish i could get a breather now. Even typing this feels so secretive. My space, my tv, my life has just been invaded by not-so-familiar-familiarity. ironic isn't it?
Now, my world seems to be crumbling down. In every aspect of my life. I can't even sing now. The feeling sucks. Terribly. And i hate it.
No one can help. I dun ask for help. So i just dun care. Hopefully time will swiftly pass that i won't feel the pain so acutely.
Which is why i dun want to grow up. I dun want to be an adult. I dun want to face the problems of adults. Cos i deserve at least some youthfulness while i can. The start of adulthood spells too much trouble for me.
End of the year seems like end of the world.
