entries
Saturday, April 29, 2006
AHHHHH MADNESS!
Here is a conversation between me and ,ahem, who-i-shall-not-name:
[= -d.a.r.- =] says:
when r u leaving for europe?
A says:
i told u b4 what..
A says:
u dont remember??
[= -d.a.r.- =] says:
er... i can't recall at e moment... or maybe u haven really told me e exact date.. hee
A says:
i told u.
A says:
my air tix is the first tix i bought remember??
A says:
haix.
A says:
i bet u dont remember either..
WTF! Wat makes u so important that i have to remember everything you've said? I dun even remember what my closer friends told me. And that's not because i don't care but i'm really like the short-term-memory-fish-in-Finding NEMO - I forget things very quickly. Not that i want to anyway. Maybe that's what makes people feel safe telling me secrets cos i forgot them pretty quickly. Ha. Whatever. I dunno how to reply to this person. Damn. Just feel like disconnecting at this moment. I dun want to know anymore. Not even if u care to tell me.
Friday, April 28, 2006
I'm so glad I can put "Philosophy" behind me from now on. Never will I ever be dumm enough to take up another philosophy module. Over my dead body.
I think Philosophers are pretty amazing people. What they do is to discuss about stuff where there is no definite answer as yet (How to be moral? What is the true nature of the mind? Can all things be defined?), and what they take on themselves is just to criticise the works of others, put forth their own arguments, and the process just repeats itself. No answer is ever uncovered. What is their goal in life? I seriously have no idea. The whole thing about philosophy, in my opinion, is a major in critical writing. Ha. For the record, i'm not saying that philosophers do useless things; rather the critical skills they possess are indeed admirable.. Otherwise there won't be people majoring in philosophy right? And the won't be PhD (doctor of Philosophy) right? Right.
I think my examiner is one scheming guy. The final exam from the Philosophy module is a 20 MCQ paper. Sounds easy? Nah. Especially when you have to crack your brain to decipher the choices... such as this one: "Some people believe that unless there is no all-powerful god, everything else will be uncertain." It is when the examiner employs multi-negatives (worse than double-negative: "i ain't got no...") with words like "unless", "no", "uncertain", all in one sentence. And this is ONLY one out of 20 questions. Gosh. Traumatising indeed. Damn. Hope I can change the answer key to MY answers... den i'll get an A for it. Yeah. Dream on.
Hmm.. One more paper to go and I'm losing my drive to press on. Maybe I'm being too complacent. I have done fairly well for my CAs anyway. Why should I put in as much effort in this as the rest of my modules? Well, time is not a excuse. I have 5 days till my next paper, and there aren't alot of stuff to mug. It's open-book after all. Sigh. Don't want to study anymore.
Oh, just realised that I have to vote on Polling Day. So cool. It's my first time sia. Hahah.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
"Dance like no one is watching,Love like you've never been hurt, Sing like no one is listening,Work like you don't need the money,Live life every day as if it were your last." - Alfred D Souza (or maybe Crystal Boyd @
http://www.paradiseawaits.com/Dance.html)
Why are we always so critical of ourselves? Why do we have to be concerned about how much we earn, about other people's opinions of us, and about how much misery someone has caused us? Why can't we just let go of all these? So what if people praise your excellent dancing skills? So what if people admire your singing talent? So what if you are poor? Does it refrain you from being happy?
Dunch live in the past. Dunch fret about the future. Think about the present. There's nothing like being happy
NOW.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
You know you are a perfectionist when you spend more than 12 hours editing an essay over and over again, making sure every kinks are removed from the essay, making sure the whole essay flows, making sure every word is perfectly situated... And you just keep editing till the very last minute before it is due for online submission... I must be crazy. Why can't I be lazy for once?
Sigh
I'm now in the midst of revising another term paper, yes, it's the 10th essay for this semester... I'm starting to love writing... like real. But it's not as bad as exams i think. No matter what, how can you expect someone who fails GP to write academic essays and score an A? Whatever. It's not the time to care about grades anymore. What's done cannot be undone.
Anyway, I always thought that I have a rather high threshold of tolerance, and i'm seldom angry (i think). But this semester is driving me nuts. First, I left my thumbdrive at the USP multimedia lab & then I received an email from this girl who accused me of misusing
her thumbdrive. Apparently, she left hers (exactly the same as mine - Fujitsu users got that as a free gift) at the same terminal. But hers was already "stolen" before I even got there. When she saw my thumbdrive, she mistook it for hers but she found all my documents inside and accused me of replacing her data with mine in the thumbdrive! WTF! Though I was fuming mad, the good old me just explained kindly to her the situation and asked her to keep the thumbdrive instead. So kind right? Walau, I can't believe i actually did that...
Just yesterday, the Central Library tested my tolerance. I went to borrow a RBR (whatever that means but they are on 2-hr loan only) book to photocopy readings on Friday. Happily satisfied with my capability of photocopying double-sided (I'm a technical idiot. Period.), I went to return the book via the bookdrop or whatever they call that machine. Last morning, the loans dept sent me a notice stating that the book is long overdue, and the fine for late return is - guess what? $1 per hour! I've chalked up more than 60 bucks of fine by now... WTF! I've sent an email back for them to make a verification, but i still receive another notice this morning. Infuriating. These people are just testing my tolerance level.
Life sucks.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sometimes i wonder if i should just isolate myself or something, so that i can have my worries greatly reduced. Probably i'm being over sensitive, but i just feel terribly insecure in the environment i'm in. Maybe we all just have different expectations when it comes to friendship or any relationship for that matter.
Everyone has their own social circles and seek different priorities. Occasionally meeting up for the sake of meeting up & 'catching up' with our lives, but it becomes more of like updating and gossiping, and less of genuine concern... We probably gel together bacause we once were but that does not mean that we have to keep it going solely for the sake of doing so. Or if we do not do so, we may lose out on some things in life, things which we aren't even know what they are exactly. We just want. It may be a sign to move on. Probably it's just like marriage, where the relationship naturally gets less colourful, more routine, unless someone, or better still, both parties put in the effort to keep it going... Otherwise the flame just dies off and any relationship can just tranform into a lifeless and dull obligation... One day, all your friends will be attached, one by one, and everyone drifts apart. Then, all of a sudden you just feel like you are left alone. It is not a feeling that i particularly look forward to, so perhaps moving on early may be a good thing ya? The longer you are with a group, the harder you bear to leave...
