entries
Thursday, August 24, 2006
My timing for New Balance Real Run (10km @ Sentosa) on Sunday - 00:57:19.
Considering that I have not been running regularly, I think managing a sub 1-hr timing was quite an achievement=p Wahaha. I think I have not improved since last year. Damn sad sia. Must really force myself to run at least twice a week from.. erm.. next week? Hee.
Well, I was thinking of dropping one tuition kid but I had since decided against it because I need the money=( My bank account is dwindling exponentially without me knowing when the money had gone to. *Sigh* Maybe it's just that I have yet to chase people for money for all the birthday presents... Hmm.. Got to start taking note of $$$ soon. I need to get new sneakers. I dunno if I should get the brown PUMA watch. It's so damn chio la. Haha. I need to make contact lenses, the hard ones cos i've got allergy to the soft lenses apparently. I need to buy... erm.. ok, the list doesn't seem to end. Hai. Why are there so many things to buy?!!!
Oh, I LOVE my gold (yes, old-man gold..) casio watch that I just bought.
It was such a bargain la. And it's damn retro. Matches all my striped tees. Wahaha. Anyway, I can't fathom myself sometimes. I could buy something that costs over 100 bucks without hesitation but I thought twice about getting this 48 bucks watch. Anyway, I did not regret buying the watch. At least I can tell people how much it costs without feeling guilty of being a spendthrift. Unlike my Germany lego necklace. Bleah.
This coming sat is Dinner and Dance which I felt a little apprehensive about going since the majority are all freshmen and I have Army Half Marathon the next morning! Worst thing is that the D&D will be held in far WEST (!) - Jurong Country Club!!!! what the.. Never mind. And I have no idea what to dress up as. The theme is "Hakuna Matata - Be a Kid again!" so everyone of us is encouraged to turn up as some cartoon character. I have no freaking idea which cartoon character dresses decently, at least like a normal human being. I definitely wouldn't want to go dressed like Peter Pan or something. That is like so retarded la. But judging from experience, most people won't come dressed to the theme, so I'll just heck care=p
Monday, August 21, 2006
It's the beginning of the week and it is already so damn sucky. What a week!
I'm aching all over after the Real Run @ Sentosa on Sunday. I think I need to train more often cos my timing really sucked. Sigh. No more procrastinating. One more run to go -AHM/SBR this coming Sunday and it will be the last for the year. Full-marathon is out for me, at least for this year. Need a break man.
Right now, I'm so stressed up fixing my tuition slots and some other stuff (which I stupidly volunteered myself even though I have no time for much dedicated commitment) this week that I felt like stop giving tuition totally. Of course I can't just drop all my students now. Maybe 1 will do. The furthest one will have to go. Hopefully his mum will understand=(
Oh, I have just made a resolution for this week. I am going to make sure that I have at least 3 meals everyday, erm, starting from tomorrow. I just got bread (Po Luo Bao from Crystal Jade.. yummy!) for breakfast. At least that's a good start. I need the pounds man! Anyone with weight-gain formulae, please forward them to me. I want 100% guaranteed success k? I would greatly appreciate them. Wahaha.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
I am not one who is in favour of horoscope predictions or analyses, or anything for that matter. However, after reading the last chapter of Freakonomics which questions the possibility that a person's name can affect his or her future (does it, or does it not?), I had decided to give a shot at having my name analysed. I googled and I found this website: What your name means (numerology) @ www.paulsadowski.com/Numbers.asp.Analysis in progress...Here's it is: There are 18 letters in your name.Those 18 letters total to 93.There are 7 vowels and 11 consonants in your name.
Your number is: 3
The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.
The expression or destiny for #3: An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers (aha, how true...), salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist (aha, NOT very true). Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.
The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing (that's very very true...). It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.
Your Soul Urge number is: 5
A Soul Urge number of 5 means: The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.
In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.
You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.
Your Inner Dream number is: 7 (and this happens to be my favourite number!)
An Inner Dream number of 7 means: You dream of having the opportunity to read, study, and shut yourself off from worldly distractions. You can see yourself as a teacher, mystic, or ecclesiastic, spending your life in the pursuit of knowledge and learning.
Haha. I must say this is quite an accurate analysis.
I left home at 9am, attempting to attend a 10am lecture. From Pasir Ris to Clementi - there's not even a glimmer of hope that I might reach by 10.30am (half-an-hour late!), much less on time. Frustrated and worried that I may not get good seats (I like the seats at the sides or at the back.. hee), I ended up taking a cab (YES, again! sucks la. I hate it when I have to spend unnecessarily...) Anyway, I managed to reached on time but the lecture theatre was packed, forcing me to sit on the 2nd row - away from my friends who were seated in the middle of the LT. wtf.
Other than that, it wasn't too bad. I met up with my psychology friends, had lunch together at one of the study benches, and talk crap. Haha. It felt like school again. It's great to have known these psyc buddies last semester. No more attending lectures alone. Yahoo!
The engineering module in the afternoon was light-hearted, though a little duh... and I saw many familiar faces in class - friends from chinese thought & culture, sheares hall, army & writing module. While I used to attend classes not knowing a single person, this semester gives me a "I'm BACK in sch" kinda feeling. The sort of feeling you get when you returned to school after your december hols back then. You look around the campus and you see loads of freshies and you feel old, terribly old. The arts canteen was especially packed today. It was more crowded than usual. Hmm.. I guess it must be due to the fact that I have not been to arts canteen often during lunch time... Hate the lunchtime crowd, hence I always skip lunch. Blah.
Saw some familiar faces in the canteen too. Oh ya, that friend of mine whom I've been complaining about said she saw me today. She told me she was "somewhat standing in front of me." Maybe subconsciously I did not wish to see her... Anyway, I told her I did not see her and you know what she said? She said: "Apparently, people see you but you don't see people." (Hey, I am NOT that "dao" lor. wtf. I din mean to be so vulgar on my blog but as you might have noticed, I only use such words in writing. You can never catch me saying that aloud. If you do, I will, erm, treat you to Ben & Jerry's.. Haha)
Such a day-spoiler la. But I couldn't care more. No matter what she says, I am definitely not going to let her affect my mood. Again.
Anyway, I hope I can finish reading Freakonomics (Quite an interesting best-seller on the unorthodox application of economics in our everyday lives...) by tonight.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Lately, I have been receiving messages from friends whom I have not met in a while. Really nice to hear from them and it truly touches me to know that even when we haven't been keeping in touch, they still do care for their friends (wipes a tear..) This makes me feel really really bad=( Sigh. I think I have been too self-centred, too pre-occupied with myself, too pre-occupied with friends whom are conveniently within reach, that I have neglected to care for those whom I haven't been speaking with. To my neglected friends, I'm truly sorry... I'll try to do something about it. Hopefully. I have no idea why but I have been feeling rather emotional these days... I guess it's just a passing phase... Maybe it's just stress getting at me before term starts again=(Oh, did I forget to mention that I hate the CORS module bidding system to the CORE? Or maybe not - just the school's master timetable for this semester. It sucks big time man! Whatever modules I have shortlisted to take clashes with my existing modules.. wtf! Argh... Headache, headache, headache...Anyway, tomorrow's National Day and every year, I look forward to watching the parade on tv. Minus the matching part=p Boring. Haha. I know it's kinda erm.. not cool to like NDP (or is it not?), but I am actually a very patriotic guy underneath that nonchalant and anti-Singapore facade. Shy. To think that this is coming from someone who dreads studying in Singapore (really..), continually laments about the stupidity of NS and contemplating to migrate for good. I don't know why but it kinda heartwarming to watch the parade, especially being there in person at the national stadium 2 years ago. National Day is the only time I would recite the pledge and sing the national anthem in my heart and with pride, but it feels good that I have a sense of belonging to the nation, even if it's only, er, once a year. No matter what happens in the future, SIngapore will always be my home cos...
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home.
...Taken from my all-time favourite NDP song by Kit Chan - "Home".
Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore
Chorus:
This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where that river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home
When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore
(Repeat chorus)
For this is where I know it's home
For this is where I know I'm home
Sunday, August 06, 2006
I've failed at my second attempt. Maybe it is just my wishful thinking that all this is getting somewhere. The reply was what kept my hopes afloat. It's not the content though. It's the fact that there is even a reply that meant a lot to me. Considering the hostility I had received before and the ignored messages, I am starting to feel that it's back to square one and all these aren't going to work out...
Sometimes, we desperately want to cling onto the hope for something to happen. Something that we have been secretly desiring but no one else knows about it. Something that would lead to a whole lot of repercussions. Something that would have to brave the social pressure. We just wish it will work out eventually. But at the same time, we do not hope for it to materialize for we are not strong enough to face the society. Self vs society again. It's a paradox. It's silly to hold on but it's human nature - it won't kill to fantasize. The angel and demon are bickering once again... Save me.
...I wish I knew how to quit...
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Here are some photos taken at my birthday celebration @Music Clinic!(finally had the time to take photos of these polaroid photos...)
My present from my beloved friends from MC Choir...
The dudes...
& the babes...
I love this brown jacket they bought me!
Tony & Guy... Ok, not funny.
Me, Tony & Jay.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Looking back at my 21 years of life, it has truly been quite a smooth journey, well, sort of.Back in Primary school, I was just a mediocre student. No fancy grades. No ambitions. No matter how hard I've tried, my grades were so-so and I was usually close to being the bottom few of the class. Even during good semesters, I would only manage to rise to the middle rankings. Of course, I did not do well for my PSLE... as expected. Ended up with a mere 225. Not even sufficient to gain admission into my first few chosen schools. That sucked. Having a cousin of the same age makes things worse. Comparisons are inevitable. He, of course, did much better than me and he made it to SJI - somewhere I would never imagine myself going to.However, things for me started to change for the better in Secondary school... or probably because I was a late bloomer... In my first year, my English teacher, Mr Pushpam (also the discipline master), asked me if I would be interested to join the Students' Council. I did not think I had the leadership qualities, and I was not sure why he saw any potential in me except that I was a quiet student. He gave me hope to be a councillor and he inspired me to dream big and aim high. True enough, I was elected into the Students' Council in Sec 2 and I gave my best to prove myself. If he hadn't said that to me, I guess I would never had thought that I would make it one day. It was also in Sec 2 that I got the highest test score in my class for the first time. Can't really recall what subject was that but it was THE trigger that pulled me away from mediocrity - permanently. I wanted it to happen again, and I did not disappoint myself in subsequent tests. My form teacher had always been biased against the councillors as we were always late for lessons due to regimental duties (manning school gates, catching students without name tags etc). I had a feeling that she did not think that councillors would do well academically since we were always missing lessons and we had a lot of events to plan for. I wanted to prove her wrong. I went on to top the class and moved on to the only triple science class in Sec 3.I did fairly well for my Os, moving on to TJ. On the day of the release of results, I remembered a teacher, Mr James, who said to me: "I told you that you could do it." He was the one who counselled me and insisted that I stay in the executive committee of the Students' Council. I had the desire to decline the appointment of being an ex-co member of the council mainly because I could not handle the politics within the council. And more importantly, it would affect my studies in one way or another. He talked me out of it, and said that it would mean a lot to me to stay on and strive to handle both effectively. I trusted him and I stayed on. When he said those words when I got my results, I was really glad that I had heeded his advice, otherwise I would not have realised that I could.It really meant a lot to me that someone can have so much faith in me.TJ had teachers who were no different. In fact, they are more than teachers to me. One of them was Ms Wong, my Physics tutor. Even though she wasn't our civics tutor, she would take the trouble to talk to us about our concerns in school or in our families (even if it wasn't regarding physics). She shares her problems with us too and meets up with each of us once in a while to do some catching up.. She engages in our class activities whenever she had the time too. We have also become regular CNY visitors to her place. Ms Wong changed my conception of a teacher. A teacher is no longer just an teacher. He or she is a guide, a supporter, a friend and a counsellor to the students. Though Ms Wong was unable to turn up for the ceremony, I wanted her to know that: "You have been a great influence in my decision to enter the teaching force. Thank you for teaching me so much more than you could have imagined. Thank you for being there and lending a listening ear when I need one. Thank you for motivating me in learning the wonders of physics. Thank you for everything.If it had not been for these teachers to have such strong faith in me and to give me support in whatever I was going through, I would not have been what I am today. I want to say a big THANK YOU to all those who have inspired me and guided me along the way! Today, as I was making my way to the Award Presentation Ceremony, it dawned upon me that I have had a very blessed life. Blessed to have meet all the great teachers in my life. Why do I want to teach? I had no heartfelt answer to it before. I just know that it is not for the prestige. Nor for my future prospects. It's... a calling. I want to teach, to nurture, to prepare them for the future. Now I know... It is more than that. For what I have received from my teachers, I would want to do the same to my students in future - Inspire them to learn, not study. Guide them when they are lost. Make a difference to their lives. And most importantly, bring HOPE to them...Lastly, to make up for the super short words of appreciation displayed during the ceremony, I would like to say to my parents: Thank you for the support in my decision to read psychology instead of life sciences. I know you were worried about the job prospects of doing an arts subject, but now that I have that covered, there shouldn't be any more worries=) I will not let you guys down...
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I'm feeling terrible right now.
Having some acid reflux which leaves a burning sensation in my throat. My whole body is aching too!! And i'm running a fever AGAIN.. I think it's probably becuase of exhaustion from the lack of sleep the past few days. A 5000-word essay was in the making. Though I'm not very satisfied with my research, I'm glad that it's all over. Signed, sealed and delivered. No more studying till term starts. Hoo!
Finally, the hols are beginning to feel like.. the hols. But just when I can truly enjoy the rest of my hols, sickness creeps in. Super-duper spoiler=(
To add to my misery, I have just gotten outbidded for a module.. Damn, I hate the bidding thingy.
Life sucks now. I need some miracle to happen. I need to get the modules I want. I want to get well soon, so that I can go with Pirates II with eley. I stood her up today cos I wasn't exactly feeling in the best state of health (& mind) to step out of my house.
& the babes...
Me, Tony & Jay.