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Saturday, December 10, 2005
Ever since the EXAMS ended, yes, the DREADFUL exams, i've been lazing around at home, not even stepping out of my house for meals.. Living the life of an emperor... haha... nothing of the sorts, but close... haha...
'Was watching this rerun programme hosted by Maltilda Tao, featuring Gigi Leung, and there was this thing Gigi said about happiness which i thought was rather true. When asked what happiness means to her, she replied
"Know yourself. Accept yourself."It just struck a chord in me. Really. More often than not, we don't really know ourselves, no matter how certain you are. Cos our perceptions of ourselves are tainted by the perceptions of the world surrounding us.
We see others and whatever that we feel are right about others, we would want them on us. Sometimes overshadowing our TRUE selves. Don't you think so???
None of us want to see the ugly side of ourselves i suppose. Me inclusive. Never. But not everyone is conscious about it. For that, i'm extremely conscious about it, but very often, it just gets beyond control. Sometimes it feels like my soul jumping out to look at myself (erk, sounds like i'm always half-dead...). How you ever thought what it would be like standing at a corner watching yourself? How disgusted by your very own actions? I dunno if it's a bad thing to be overly self-conscious but i doubt i'll change this "habit"(?) of mine. Somehow, it makes me feel like a star in my own world... Reporters, PLEASE, dun write any gossips or rumours about me.. haha..
of course i dun FEEL that way.. i just prefer to keep my personal life low-key... haha... not as if any cares. but i do anyway.
Ok, back on track. Ya, knowing yourself and accepting yourself. Each of us have our own limits. Some venture to go beyond their limits, at all expenses. Some stopped at their "max". Which should we heed? Is there a fixed rule about it? Is it subject to the scenario?
If venturing beyond your limits is expending much of your resoucres that you are almost drained out of energy by the time your goal is accomplished, would you still go for it?
If stopping at your limit and not venturing further, would you have underestimated your "stretchability" of your limit? Would you have missed out on alot of opportunities?
We may know our limits but not the best way to deal with them. How often do you stop to ponder on this? I bet you would choose of the the ways and stick to them thru'out your life.
As a matter of fact, I'm probably the former. Is it the right way? Of course, philosophically, there isn't a right or wrong answer to this i suppose, but i think it calls for a need to take a 'lil break some day to ponder over the things that have happened in YOUR life.
Knowing yourself. How much do you know about yourself? What kind of personality traits do you have? Can you pinpoint them exactly? Nah. What are the bad personality traits about yourself? Think about them. Are you truthful to yourself? Really, there is no way we can fully comprehend ourselves. We always like to present our best selves to others, and to ourselves. In fact, we become the mirror image of the person we want to be, not who are truely are. Are we slaves of our own selves? Hmm.. sad to say, i think i am.
I think it's beyond control for me. I don't even know who i am. So, for my dear friends who have always tried to understand me. Forget it, i suggest. I can never comprehend myself, what more you... BUT... sometimes, you will get to know more about yourself from your friends... a 3rd person's view, you know? More objective i suppose. But i haven't been fortunate enough to hear from my friends about myself=(
Accept yourself. Knowing your flaws, how much are you willing to accept yourself being, well, yourself? Would you seek to change to match up to the one in the mirror? No matter how much it takes? Every trait in us is due to the interaction between our genes and the enviornment (acting scientific here.. hee), so somehow or other, everything seems possible to be altered, provided we are motivated enough to do so. But is it worth the time, worth the money, worth the hardship? We all have expectations, be it of others, or of ourselves. Do these expectations reflect what we truely want or do they reflect what we want that the society wants of us?
If you are very clear of every single aspects of yourself and you know that what you know about yourself is absolutely true, give yourself a pat. Well done! Mind teaching me how you did that? Haha.. You would then have to accept your true self. Change yourself as you deem fit but do they really make you TRUELY happy? Or are you happy 'cos of how others see you in the new way? I dun mean to say we should not change or what, but we need to strike a balance here.
Everytime you feel happy, is it becos you truely feel happy, from the heart, or becos your expectations of yourself are being met?
Being true to yourself is the essence of finding the TRUE happiness. Isn't it?
